So you recently started classes again and all of a sudden you find yourself criticizing the teacher or hearing that little voice “this assignment is stupid…”
you have a huge interview in the morning and you think, “I’ll have drinks with a friend” but end up being out until 3 am.
Things are going really well in your relationship and all of a sudden you feel the urge to reach out to an ex, or maybe you become overwhelmingly jealous with no real reason…
I welcome you to introduce yourself to your Inner Saboteur.
The Inner Saboteur can mask itself in many different aspects of your life: procrastination, comfort eating, self-medicating with drugs/alcohol, going off of your antidepressants when you feel that they’re working…etc
How do you know if you have an Inner Saboteur? We all have one. But self sabotage is something to look out for if you have a hard time reaching long term goals. That can be school, relationships, sobreity, work goals, weight loss/gain etc.
If there always seems to be a reason to not complete something, you may want to bring awareness to this pattern, it CAN be changed.
Self-sabotage projects doubt on our abilities, minimizes our needs, and convinces us to be hopeless. This saboteur fills our thoughts with critical self-analysis which keeps us from the end goal.
If you have identified that you self sabotage, you can begin to look at your “true self” versus the self that the saboteur has portrayed. This means, you can begin to notice these thoughts and critical inner voice and challenge them. Notice how you look for confirmation of this negative self-talk and throw out information that disconfirms these beliefs. (Ie: I only got the job because there was no one else in the running vs I am a good candidate for this job and have a lot to offer)
We are creatures of habit so challenging these thoughts will create anxiety. That is a GOOD SIGN. Noticing these thoughts and how they effect behaviors is critical to positive change.
Sabotaging behaviors usually had a helpful role in our lives as children. For example, if you moved around a lot as a child, you may have developed a distancing characteristic to protect you from the hurt of losing friends when you would have to inevitably move. What once protected you now serves as a barrier between you and creating intimate relationships. What once protected your heart as a child, can injure you as an adult. It may be time to let that survival defense go as you no longer need it.
Once we have separated from the negative self concepts from our past, we can uncover who we really are. Introduce yourself to your Inner Saboteur to understand your past and introduce yourself to the True Self to uncover your potential.